Hi, I’m back (yet again) to try something new (yet again) now that I’m not selfish anymore.

You’ll note from the header image that I’m sharing my cyberspace with you! I really wanted to put in an oo-er missus but thought no one would understand the reference.

Anyway, here’s why I’m back:

When I started Selfish Blogger one of my intentions was to write posts linking out to all my bloggy friends to highlight whatever piece of genius content they’d published.

I never really got round to it because, to be honest, it’s a lot of work.

It’s not that I’m lazy, I’m not, despite what any other lying swine tells you. No, it’s more that it’s very time consuming and frankly I don’t have that sort of time.

Well, I still want to do something along those lines but with a twist.

What I want to do is offer my friends (and you must be a genuine friend and not some sleazy Multi Level Marketing butt faced moron touting for a link to your acai laced Viagra cut with brick dust and bullshit site) a place to drop a guest post.

Why you would want to post here is anyone’s guess but it might be you want to try something that doesn’t fit with your own site. You might want to try humor, fiction, a top ten list, a picture of your old horse wearing a tutu, a rant, some blatant and shameless self promotion, or even the promotion of a friend’s work. Whatever the reason it doesn’t matter too much to me.

I will openly encourage you to put in a couple of links back to your own site – because really, that’s the true value in doing this. Let’s be honest, you’re not exactly going to get spotted by the blogging elite here. In fact I’d go as far as to say I don’t necessarily see a thriving community being built around a busy comments section – that’s totally not the point of doing this!

If a little community grows up around the idea then all well and good, if it doesn’t, that’s OK.

I know I stand to get used and abused by hey, I probably deserve it having been so selfish for so long.

I’m not expecting to be inundated with requests, but the important thing for me, is to make the offer - and if there are no takers, I won’t be mortally wounded, I’ll just plod on.

If this sounds like something you might be interested in doing then drop me a line and I’ll try to give you a less vague explanation.

selfishblogger {at}

gmail [dot] com

So, just in case you’re wondering whether you’re my friend (and I don’t mean to sound condecsending like I’m some big cheese and you’re all lucky to be my friends. Trust me, I know I’m the lucky one here! ):

Well, you’re my friend if you are one of those people who supported over at TMCW.

Likewise, if you’ve teased me here at Selfish Blogger.

If you cheered me on while I was the third wheel at the fitness blog, (you know, the one with Tara and Dave), you are my friend.

And if you used to chat to me on Twitter before I deleted my account to stop me wasting my life away with smutty innuendo, then you are also my friend.

Anyone else can ask to be my friend, including A-List bloggers, but there will be a small fee involved. Haha. Only kidding. Because that would be just wrong! Wouldn’t it?

I’ve also invited a whole host of new friends to post on the site through project I’ve been running with for a few months now. Don’t be surprised to see a whole load of posts about kitchen sinks and earlobe warmers, ferret sweaters and nose-hair clippers. Like I said, I’m not selfish anymore and people really need to know about these things!

Even if this isn’t your bag baby, why don’t you just drop in from time to time to see how my latest mad plan is working out?

Yours unselfishly,

Selfish Blogger

Hi,

I’ve been away, but now I’m back. Yay!

So my big news is I’ve started Teach My Children up again! Woo Hoo!

I’ve changed the look ever so slightly and been very blatant that I intend to use it to experiment with different ways of monetising content.

Shameful I know! Haha.

I’m afraid I’ve been far too precious about my content and too wary of writing things that will either bore or offend.

I wonder whether I’ve been listening too much to the elite bloggers? And I wonder whether there’s another way to do it? Hmm?

Well, I’m certainly open to the possibility, after all, I’ve seen plenty of good bloggers along the way who write great content and who are yet to break through into the big time. I’ll be honest, I’m starting to wonder whether it’s an invitation only club?

So anyway, I’m back – at least that is, I’m back long enough to drop a link back to my old site.

Was that the only reason I posted here today? No. Of course it wasn’t. Or maybe it was? HA!

No. It really wasn’t my only reason, but I’ll come to that in a while.

So anyway, if you feel like learning nearly everything I know about the Space Hopper and how much fun it is to fall off one, pop over and have a look.

Otherwise just admire my shiny link for a while and ponder whether I really am selfish after all.

Dave

PS During my research for the hopper post I’ve found three entertaining Space Hopper related videos but they’re slightly naughty. Naughty in a cheeky kind of non offensive non sexist sort of way (or near enough to cheeky to overlook the offensive sexism ). BUT… If you find the sight of a carved wooden table leg provocative then maybe you should steer clear. Otherwise have a giggle while you watch these space hopper videos.

*Giant Grin*

Photo Credit: G-Hat

And if that lot wasn’t bad enough, I also found a link to the Mail Online with pictures of TV show Hollyoaks stars fighting over a space hopper. Disgusting!

This tells you how to delete all your Twitter DMs – If you’ve come here through a Google search then there’s a good chance you’re too lazy to read on and find out how to do it. How do I know? My bounce rate tells me so! So don’t be so bone idle, read on and you’ll get the answer you came looking for.

So you’re a badass Twit who randomly follows anyone and everyone just to get your follower count as high as you possibly can? Of course you are. There’s no need to feel ashamed for being a Screaming Attention Whore.

The downside of this kind of malarkey is all the make money online pillocks send you auto DMs welcoming you, thanking you for your follow and then offering their free piece of crap gift. Pillocks!

I’m not a Screaming Attention Whore, I’m just super popular and do a lot of talking via DMs . My real problem is I’m too lazy to delete my Twitter Direct Messages and recently it got really ridiculous with nearly 300 DMs to be deleted. Unfortunately Twitter only permits messages to be deleted one at a time. Such a dull chore.

Fortunately for me I found a solution through ‘G’. G told me to go look at Twittercism Twitter Tips and Tricks who in turn directed me to Mr DM Whacker inventor and that page took me to the *** Direct Message Deleter *** Bookmarklet itself.

In Case You Missed It! This is it ——> Direct Message Deleter

***BUT*** You need to be using Firefox, or a couple of others I can’t remember but Microsoft Explorer won’t do it.

The instructions are easy enough to follow, but in essence all you do is drag the Whacker to your Nav Bar, go to your Twitter DM page and then click the Whacker. It gives you a couple of options, and then away it goes, deleting the Direct Messages en masse.

Bloody Fantastic!

There are some side issues – like it deletes the corresponding message in the senders DM account, but really, who gives a fat rat’s ass?

300 DMs gone! Job done.

Thank you Mr DM Whacker inventor.

BTW If you want to find me on Twitter then I’m @DaveFowler. And although Tracy, Mrs Crankiness herself, made the point that I haven’t been there in ages, I haven’t given up Twittering.

Picture: jurek d.

Both Tara Sticky Fingers Cain and David Lizard Boy Wright tagged me with the same meme, which to me is proof that they are indeed one in the same person. After all, why would they go to such great lengths to convince me otherwise by tagging me twice? I don’t buy it. Come on Tara/Dave, is there something you’d like to get off your chest?

I’m taking a slightly different approach to this meme. I’m going to answer it a bit at a time, not because I’m short of time, but because I use my time badly. If I tried hard enough I’m sure I could do this in one sitting but I’m just too lazy and selfish.

Question 1

Who is the hottest movie star?

Such a difficult question to answer because I’ve never bothered to rank one movie star above another. I don’t keep top ten lists in my head. My favourites things in life tend to change from one month to the next, which is coincidentally how often Blogger Dad changes his underwear (or so I’m led to believe).

I struggled so badly to bring a name to mind, that I had to Google a list of names. Even then I found it difficult to pick one, as – and I’m serious about this – most movie actresses just don’t do it for me. They’re far too thin and whilst they often have nice faces, they’re not what I’d call beautiful.

Oooooo, hark at me all picky now!

Anyway I perused the list of uggos and came up with a short list of four women I would describe as hot, albeit that one of them is dead.

Wynona Ryder (it’s a shame she’s a thief)
Salma Hayek (has nice eyes)
Scarlett Johansson (has nice eyes)
Grace Kelly (totally beautiful but not at all my era (and dead))

And the winner is Salma Hayek. Yay.

Question 2

Apart from your house and your car, what’s the most expensive item you’ve ever bought?

This is an easy one. A diamond engagement ring of course!

But strictly speaking I didn’t buy that for myself so I get to go again. Oh, wait a minute! Now that I’m running through the list of expensive things I’ve bought I notice that each and every item has been bought as a gift for someone else!!

The most expensive thing I’ve ever ought for myself is the Dinner Jacket I bought for the evening I proposed to my wife.

What the hell is wrong with me? I think I need the services of Ask Blogger Dad.

Stay tuned… More answers coming soon!

When was the last time you had a dance with your significant other?

Go find them right now and twirl around to this one, it’ll make your day.

Go on, grab your significant other – or anyone else for that matter – and have a little dance… just keep your roving hands to yourself!

Can’t find a partner? Go get yourself a pillow, hold it close and imagine you’re holding the love of your life.

No excuses now. Get dancing.

BTW I love these YouTube vids where the contributor just slaps a 45 on the turntable and films it.

Previously On Selfish Blogger:
Four Tops: If I Were A Carpenter

My career choice as a Stay-at-home Dad is taking much more of my time this week so there’s less time for blogging and Twittering.

That said, I still feel I have enough time to inflict my musical tastes on you.

Here’s one I love from The Four Tops.

And if you don’t like this song, you have no soul.

I was just checking out CK’s Lunchbox (I know how bad that sounds, you don’t need to tell me) and watched a video of some tool named FRED who was pulling silly faces and speaking in a stupid high pitched voice.

Ron (Mr Lunchbox) found Fred’s antics funny and whilst I’m not questioning Ron’s taste, I just felt an overwhelming urge to punch this freaky guy square between the eyes.

It goes without saying that I’d never really punch him (or anyone), I’m far too gentle for that sort of caper – but I wouldn’t rule out slapping him with a wet fish or giving him a vicious Chinese burn.

For a fleeting moment I had considered making this a recurring feature but it’s probably not all that great for my mental health to be fixated on violence, even if it is with jocular intent.

Who would you like to punch?
(Not me, obviously!)