Not withstanding that the definition of success changes depending upon who you ask… and for the purpose of this post accepting that the success I’m referring to relates to status and wealth….
Why does it seem to me that so many successful people have a “jerk gene”?
The thought came to me this morning as I was cut up for the 2nd time while I was driving my children to school. The obvious answer might be that I’m a crap driver, but I can assure you that on this occasion that wasn’t a factor.
I couldn’t help but notice the people cutting me up were driving expensive cars. One was a Lexus and the other a Merc.
The drivers were both men in their thirties one was wearing a crisp shirt with a tie the other was wearing a slobby t-shirt but somehow he had the look of wealth about him.
I just got the impression that they didn’t care that they annoyed me as long as they got to where they were going without having to wait in a queue of traffic.
That got me to thinking about other episodes where people had put their interests ahead of mine even if they had to be openly rude to do it.
I’m basically a nice guy, so the chances of me punching these people square in the face for taking outrageous liberties at my expense is pretty minimal, and maybe they understand this?
Anyway, I was wondering whether I should try being a jerk for a while to see where it gets me?
What do you think? Are jerks more successful in life? What characteristics do jerks possess the I could borrow without being a full-on jerk myself?
Dave
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
You should move to Memphis! It’s the incredibly crappy cars here that cut everyone off, I guess they figure my insurance will cover the repairs they need. No idea.
I get myself wrapped around in circles trying to figure out the whole jerk/rich/nice/not nice/success/not success thing. Sometimes I wonder if I’m trying to pass off my anxiety and insecurity as being nice and use that as an excuse for not pushing myself forward.
And honestly, the more successful I’ve become in my own little way it seems that some people look for excuses to point out where it’s gone to my head or I’ve used them or whatever they think is wrong with me. I think I’m actually nicer now that I’ve got nothing to prove.
Final ramble: I read somewhere that people are more apt to give nice, luxury cars much more berth on the road. They might be so used to people getting out of their way that they simply don’t think about it any more. It’s not a justification but maybe they are nice in other ways just not driving.
Tracy, I’m not sure I know you’ve changed at all except for the better!! You are so very generous in your support for me, I can’t tell you how grateful I am.
I think I need to buy a ropey looking old car and then perhaps the jerks wouldn;t try to cut in front. Perhaps if I also got a tattoo of a dragon on my forehead people might think twice? Haha.
I think it boils down to a matter of priorities, Dave.
Do you believe you would be happier of you had some of the accoutrements of wealth that the inconsiderate drivers of those luxury sedans have? If so, then taking on the attitude of “my entitlement means your loss” may further your ambitions.
If, on the other hand, you find that you can thoroughly enjoy the little moments in your life like bathing your children or reading them a story, it is unclear what learning to be a jerk will add for you.
It’s a choice, and I don’t see how one can be a jerk in furtherance of much except jerkdom.
You can certainly look to improve your lot by advocating for your own talents, seeking to shine your light so that others see it, and other positive means of promoting yourself and your brand. That’s not being a jerk at all.
Makes total sense Rick. I prefer to take the high road as you advocate but I wonder what qualities the jerks have that I don’t?
You’re absolutely right. I look to find my happiness elsewhere and certainly that includes with my family. My children bring me great joy, but from time to time I find myself annoyed at the “my entitlement means your loss” attitude. (Love that description BTW).
Thanks Rick.
I think that narcissistic drivers are the same whether they’re behind the wheel or not. They drive me bananas!! I’ve always been a courteous driver and I think I’m the same (mostly) everywhere. Whether in line at the grocery store, at work, or at home, I don’t cut people off and/or treat them like they’re invisible.
Rude people suck. I wouldn’t want to become one if that’s the only path to success. That being said, I’m happy to give them the what for when they dish out their ridiculousness. I’m not much of a ‘turn the other cheek’ kinda gal.
Hi Christine
I’m happy to wait in line with everybody else except when I someone else is taking liberties and jumping in ahead, but there’s no doubt… these people get where they’re going faster than I do and what’s more the swines have a newer car than me!
Is their selfishness the quality that gets them ahead or is it something else… and they just happen to be jerks as well.
Thanks for the great comment!!