Three To Five

Today I’m continuing with the meme that a sticky fingered Media Communications Business owner and Captain Comic Horror Story Writer Agony Uncle and first time father tagged me with. I answered the first two questions last week and if you go and check it out you’ll notice that I haven’t been selfish (see the bit about the diamond ring – not selfish!).

3. What’s your most treasured memory?

Aside from the obvious gems, I have a very clear memory from when I was nineteen. I’d not long passed my driving test, I had an old banger of a car – a MKII Ford Escort and was still living in my parents house. I had a temporary job to pay for the running costs and not a care in the world. As I drove down my road to nowhere in particular I had an overwhelming sense of freedom and potential. It’s a feeling I”d never had before or since. I like to remember that moment whenever the dark clouds shield the sun from my life.

4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child?

I was lucky as a child. Although I wasn’t given everything I wanted, I was a million miles from deprived. Of course I didn’t appreciate that until much later in life. It was my grandmother who bought me my first ‘grown up’ bike. It was way too big for me. I couldn’t touch the floor with my feet even if I sat on the crossbar (which is painful).It was a Kalkoff five speed racing bike and it was butt ugly and made from cast iron. I weighed more than I did, but I loved it.

5. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made?

An interesting question seeing as how I’ve made so many. I dropped some real clangers during my career but I’m loathe to mention them, besides, I did so many fanatically brilliant things too.

Perhaps my biggest mistake has been my failure to meet my potential, often through laziness or fear. It’s something I’ve been trying to rectify since my teenage years and it’s an ongoing mission.

My biggest single mistake occurred in my very early twenties. I went to a social event, and by social event I mean a binge drinking frenzy at a residential training centre. I was keen to prove how tough I was so rather stupidly I offered to demonstrate my ability to down a pint in one. I was handed a pint of what I thought was Snakebite and Black with Venom (half a pint of lager (beer), half a pint of cider a shot of vodka and a dash of blackcurrant cordial). Shouldn’t have been too much of a problem for a young man at the peak of his drinking prowess, but little did I know it was much more venomous than I’d thought.

I duly downed this pint in one. I don’t remember much else until I woke in the early hours of the morning laying in a pool of purple puke in a room with a door which had been smashed in half and hanging from its twisted hinges. It was a long and very unpleasant night.

It turns out that the drink contained no lager and no cider. It was a pint of spirits with a shot of blackcurrant. There was no snakebite, it was all venom. I couldn’t tell at the time because I was already half cut and had lost my sense of taste. Once I’d passed out I was taken to what was effectively a dorm room to sleep it off. My ‘friends’ checked on me later but because some bright spark (and I’m aware of the irony) had earlier let the door lock shut they couldn’t gain entry to check on me. When they didn’t get a response from me they feared the worst and smashed the door in.

The next morning I had a decidedly one-way conversation with some police officers before eventually being ‘asked’ to pay for the damage to the door, plus cleaning costs. I was grossly overcharged and totally humiliated but just felt grateful to be alive.

I don’t know how close I came to meeting an untimely demise through alcohol poisoning but I can’t have been far away.

My mistake?

Wearing my best shirt! I never got the blackcurrant stains out of it.

Kidding of course!! I should never have accepted a drink I hadn’t seen being poured. It was a stupid, stupid thing to do, and has never been repeated.

On a side note, I’ve been reading quite a few replies to this particular meme and I had to laugh at a certain Ghostwriter‘s complete and utter job interview response to that last question. I’ve got to tell you Sean that your answer was such a cop out. Go see what old WriterDad had to say!

Honestly my man, I expected much better from you. Hahaha.

I enjoyed that little jaunt down memory lane. I’ll come back with the rest of the meme soon enough.