How To Be A Man: Reading On The Toilet

by Dave on December 14, 2009

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Virtually nothing that happens in my house is private. People are in and out of each others business (oo actually ‘business’ is a bad word given the context but we’ll press on regardless). There are 7 of us living in the house and the activity barely stops.

Image: swpave

Over the years I’ve become used to going to the loo with the door open so that I can listen to the children trying kill each other downstairs and remain confident that I could hear them well enough to intervene if ever they started to actually kill each other.

So no one really thinks anything of seeing another family member sitting on the throne with the door open.

A few days ago my eldest boy (8) was sitting upon the Armitage Shanks as his Grandma walked by to put laundry away. As she did so he asked her to get him a newspaper. She questioned him as to why and he said it’s because real men read the newspaper on the toilet. Grandma asked him whether that was something he’d seen on TV and he replied, “No, but daddy does it all the time, and I want to be like daddy”.

What a good lad. Clearly I’m an excellent role model.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Pippa December 14, 2009 at 12:43 pm

And of course if a paper isn’t available a shampoo bottle will do…

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2 Selfish December 14, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Pippa, I have to admit that I’ve even read the printed numbers on the inside of toilet rolls!

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3 Tara@Sticky Fingers December 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Funnily enough, I’ve Tweeted this and it’s been commente on by a lot of men . . .
My daughter tried to wee like her dad when she was potty training, does that count too?

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4 Selfish December 14, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Tweeting on the toilet is another story. I’ll bet lots of people do that. And not all of them men! Eh, TC?

Daddies obviously have more influence over our little ones (by which I mean children) than maybe we realise?

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5 Dotterel December 14, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Well, Selfish (it’s you really, Dave, isn’t it? Why have you been hiding for so long?) I used to read the ‘paper on the loo, of course I did. But since I signed up for Twitter and got an iPod, well… as you say, that’s another story.

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6 Selfish December 14, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Hi Tim, it really is me! I’ll have to find a way to prove it.
I’ve been around in the background but I think I had a mid-blog crisis – which isn’t quite over yet.
One of the things that drove me away from Twitter was the toilet tweets. I felt grubby knowing that people were tweeting me with unclean hands! Like when people talk to me on the phone with unbrushed teeth! :D
Dave (See, it really is me)

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7 Patricia December 15, 2009 at 4:01 am

Dave,
Very funny…but I know the open door policy with having shared life with a hyperactive child of destructive speed abilities…now with grown children and the girls bringing boyfriends home I have to remember to shut the door..

I read in the bath….and try just to BE when using the facilities…as sometimes that is the only moment of peace in my day…

Very funny and I am so happy to see your post popping up on my reader…

Say did you download your free e-cookbook yet! It is fabulous stuff even for kids…and international…and we just earned $1k for UNICEF…
I think that is more in #s?

Nice to see you here…

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8 Selfish December 15, 2009 at 10:58 am

Patricia, I much prefer showers – which don’t lend themselves well to reading. Thinking about it though… I get to shower pretty much undisturbed!

Good job raising money for UNICEF!! :D

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